Den of Surprise

The Life of a Poet*

This being a blog and all, I thought for a change that I’d have a go at doing the traditional bloggy thing and telling you all about my day.

But then I realized it would be far too much trouble, so here’s a bullet-point list instead.

* Removed cat vomit from kitchen table.

* Had a nap after breakfast.

* Saw a man’s willy. (It was attached to a worker dude who was taking a wazz round the back of a building site. I looked away.)

* Paid a check into the Post Office. (Nowhere near as simple as it might sound.)

* Had lunch with Mrs Fricative (nee Sibilant).

* Had a nap after lunch.

* Slept through an air-raid drill. (During which no-one is supposed to go outside, so I guess that makes me Full of Win.)

* Wrote — or more accurately, rewrote — five (5) words in a B section lyric.

* Bought a pineapple.

* Stumbled across this marvelous attempt to describe Nirvana, which the Telegraph, in its smug, fucked-up stupidity, saw fit only to ridicule:

“Nirvana cannot be described because there are no words in existence for doing so. Not non-existence either, it is beyond the very ideas of existing and not existing.”
(exam response from an unidentified student at the St Helens College of Art and Design)

* Considered changing my name to ‘Riley’, as in ‘the life of’.

(*) I am not in fact a poet.

sPeek Ur bRanes

No matter how you mis-spell it, Speak You’re Branes is a glorious website — full of cruel, childish, sweary critiques of the imbecilic ravings of Daily Mail-reading fuckwits — and now it has its own glorious theme-song:

Featuring brief zombie nudity from 55~60 secs in. For those of you interested in that sort of thing.

Giants of Popular Entertainment

Thanks to Paul Potts and his notorious Khmer Rouge backing band, Nessun Dorma is pretty hot right now, so I thought a nice picture would be in order. Unfortunately, it’s hard to find photos of her sleeping, so here instead is the classic, iconic image of Nessun Awaka.

Nessie leaves the basso profundo to come up for a bit of aria